I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
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He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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