I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
