I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
