I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
