But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
