piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
