He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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