everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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