Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
