I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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