Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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