I could have mohawked her pubes.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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