after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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