Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
