I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
