Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
