I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
