I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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