woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
