my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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