i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
