I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
