Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
