You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
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Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
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Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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