Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
