Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
