he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
