It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
