too bad you live with your parents still
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
