so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
