Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
