Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize