I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
