worst night to have a conscience
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
