I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
is that a dick in a sweater?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize