She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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