Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How's work?
Spinning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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