i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
