Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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