Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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