had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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