I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
