I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
