tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
