If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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