Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
