you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
