Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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