True but thats because hes a fetus.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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