i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
