she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
