just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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