I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie