I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
