i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize