If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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