i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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