I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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